To all my friends, family, co-workers, assorted acquaintances and good people of earth – I hope you are having a lovely and fulfilling Christmas! (You know, if you’re into that kinda thing.)

Some Christmas Day advice: if you’re hungry, Sonic is open. However, they will forget your $4 popcorn chicken. And your fries. And you’ll be too distracted by holiday cheer to check the bag before driving home. And it’s a bit too nasty out to go back for it. And you’ll be left with mediocre burgers (but tasty tater tots…). So maybe don’t do that.

And may God/Goddess/Xenu/Flying Spaghetti Monster bless us, every one.